Potty Training - The Three Day Method: Day 3
At exactly 12:00pm on this, the third day of Potty Training, I put a diaper back on my 2 year old. Why? He wasn't ready. No...ready isn't quite the right word...he wasn't INTERESTED.
When I saw him stirring this morning, I went in just as I had yesterday and picked him up to transport him to the potty. Only he had already pooped. So I decided to use this as a learning experience and after we sat on the potty, I empty the contents of his pullup into the potty and said "poo-poo goes in the potty". He seemed to get that and wanted to flush. We went downstairs sat on the potty again and worked a puzzle. Nothing. We had and uneventful breakfast. While I was cleaning up, Jackson peed on the floor. This time it wasn't even an "ought oh" and run. He looked at it and then carried on about his business. I asked him if he could help me clean up the pee and he happily did. We went outside. He played a bit and then asked if he could wear his underpants. Good sign, I thought. In hindsight, I think he just wanted to go down the slide without his butt being burnt (haha).
He peed twice outside with no second thought or acknowledgement.
After about an hour we went back inside to put Samuel down for a nap. I decided that if he peed again in his underwear I was just going to let it go until he told me he was wet and wanted to be changed. I thought maybe the uncomfortable feeling would motivate him. Boy was I wrong! Next time he peed, Jackson and I cleaned up the puddle together, but I made no move to change his underpants. It was only when he wanted to sit on my lap A HALF HOUR LATER (and I said no way...you have on wet underpants) that he wanted them changed. So I made him take off the wet ones and put the dry ones on. He had an accident two more times. It was a struggle to get him to sit on the potty even to try. And he thought cleaning it up was great fun. That's when I realized: he simply isn't interested in this. He isn't interested in the stickers or the skittles or the underwear or the potty. He doesn't care. You can lead a baby to the bathroom, but you can't make them pee. And I made the decision to put a diaper back on him with the promise to try again in a month's time.
At first I felt really down about it. I felt like a failure. I felt like I had let Jackson be a failure. But then I looked at Jackson and he wasn't down at all! He was playing and laughing and being a wonderful little 2 year old. The diaper, the underwear, being naked...it was all the same to him. His personality is very laid back. And getting this potty thing down wasn't urgent for him.
When I saw him stirring this morning, I went in just as I had yesterday and picked him up to transport him to the potty. Only he had already pooped. So I decided to use this as a learning experience and after we sat on the potty, I empty the contents of his pullup into the potty and said "poo-poo goes in the potty". He seemed to get that and wanted to flush. We went downstairs sat on the potty again and worked a puzzle. Nothing. We had and uneventful breakfast. While I was cleaning up, Jackson peed on the floor. This time it wasn't even an "ought oh" and run. He looked at it and then carried on about his business. I asked him if he could help me clean up the pee and he happily did. We went outside. He played a bit and then asked if he could wear his underpants. Good sign, I thought. In hindsight, I think he just wanted to go down the slide without his butt being burnt (haha).
He peed twice outside with no second thought or acknowledgement.
After about an hour we went back inside to put Samuel down for a nap. I decided that if he peed again in his underwear I was just going to let it go until he told me he was wet and wanted to be changed. I thought maybe the uncomfortable feeling would motivate him. Boy was I wrong! Next time he peed, Jackson and I cleaned up the puddle together, but I made no move to change his underpants. It was only when he wanted to sit on my lap A HALF HOUR LATER (and I said no way...you have on wet underpants) that he wanted them changed. So I made him take off the wet ones and put the dry ones on. He had an accident two more times. It was a struggle to get him to sit on the potty even to try. And he thought cleaning it up was great fun. That's when I realized: he simply isn't interested in this. He isn't interested in the stickers or the skittles or the underwear or the potty. He doesn't care. You can lead a baby to the bathroom, but you can't make them pee. And I made the decision to put a diaper back on him with the promise to try again in a month's time.
At first I felt really down about it. I felt like a failure. I felt like I had let Jackson be a failure. But then I looked at Jackson and he wasn't down at all! He was playing and laughing and being a wonderful little 2 year old. The diaper, the underwear, being naked...it was all the same to him. His personality is very laid back. And getting this potty thing down wasn't urgent for him.
As I thought about it, I realized I had learned something very important about my own child. He is INCREDIBLY smart and INCREDIBLY fun to be around. I blocked off three days in my schedule. Completely. I even did the laundry in advance so I wouldn't have any housework with which to contend. I blocked off three days SOLELY to spend with Jackson. And despite all of the mess, I had a great time playing with him. He may of not been interested in the potty, but look at all the things he IS interested in.
He knows the words to tons of songs...Pop Goes the Weasel, Summertime, Twinkle Twinkle, the theme song to Thomas and Cars, Old McDonald... a few among many.
He can name all of the letters (at random) and several words that begin with that letter.
He knows his shapes...circle, square, triangle, oval, heart, star...and colors. And uses more than one descriptive work to identify something.
He LOVES puzzles, and is very good at them.
He loves to draw. Here he was practicing his circle up top and told me the bottom was a choochoo train.
I think he loves books more than any toy he owns. He loves to go through and point out the different letters. He knows what the word "snap" looks like.
He loves cars and trains and soccer. He loves to dance and sing (and can do so in tune).
He is very polite, super sweet, and loves giving kisses and hugs to those he cares about.
And he loves his little brother.
A FaceBook friend wrote to me at the beginning of all this..."don't worry...he won't go to college in Depends". And she is right. Jackson will get there. In his time. Not mine. His mind is busy learning other things. Like how to spell his name and the difference between a front end loader and a bulldozer.
I have been very honest in writing these blogs for several reasons:
1. I want to be able to look back and read it just as it happened.
2. I have many friends who are parents of children going through the same things I am. It helps to know you are not alone.
3. Being a parent is the most rewarding and beautiful thing in the world. It is also FULL of challenges. I will not get it right all the time. You will not get it right all the time. Mistakes will be made, and flexibility and adaptability become necessary. I am human. My children are human. But my love for them is beyond explanation. Beyond comprehension. Beyond perfection. Beyond the limits of our Earthly binds. And more present and lasting than any failure.
So bye-bye potty. See you again in a month!
1 comment:
You've made a good decision by not forcing the potty training. I did the same thing, trying to make Elijah do it before he was ready and it just caused stress for both of us. But when the time came, he learned very quickly. What helped for me was doing it in the summer so I could take his bottoms totally off and let him see and feel when he had an accident. (we spent a lot of time outside so I didn't have to mop the floor all day). After going #2 on the potty one time he never had another accident again! His problem was overcoming the fear of the toilet. :)
Jackson is very bright and when he's ready he will show you. He may even tell you. ha ha.
I LOVE your take on it. That those 3 days were not wasted. They were time well invested into the life of your son. I've never ever regretted spending too much time playing and not enough time cleaning. Only the opposite. Oh, it goes by so quickly. I wish I could go back a year and tell myself not to worry so much about housework, but to soak up every sweet moment with my baby before he grows too busy to sit on my lap and cuddle. Enjoy this time!
Ok, one more thing...
Reading your blog, you remind me so much of myself. You even say some of the very same things I wrote a year or 2 ago. Its funny how much our boys are alike... And how universal motherhood is.
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